Things ain't what they used to be and never were.

Quote by Will Rogers

Topics: Will Rogers Quotes

We can't all be heroes because someone has to sit on the curb and clap...

We can't all be heroes because someone has to sit on the curb and clap...

A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries.

A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries.

One-third of the people in the United States promote, while the other two-thirds provide.

One-third of the people in the United States promote, while the other two-thirds provide.

I read about eight newspapers in a day. When I'm in a town with only...

I read about eight newspapers in a day. When I'm in a town with only...

If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny...

If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny...

We can't all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and applaud...

We can't all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and applaud...

This thing of being a hero, about the main thing to it is to know...

This thing of being a hero, about the main thing to it is to know...

Why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works...

Why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works...

This country has gotten where it is in spite of politics, not by the aid...

This country has gotten where it is in spite of politics, not by the aid...

Communism to me is one-third practice and two-thirds explanation.

Communism to me is one-third practice and two-thirds explanation.

The short memories of American voters is what keeps our politicians in office

The short memories of American voters is what keeps our politicians in office

Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far.

Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far.

There have been three great inventions since the beginning of time: fire, the wheel, and...

There have been three great inventions since the beginning of time: fire, the wheel, and...

An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make...

An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make...

All I know is what I read in the papers

All I know is what I read in the papers

Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it......

Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it......

Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.

Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.

The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.

The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.

I said to the wife, Guess what I heard in the pub? They reckon the...

I said to the wife, Guess what I heard in the pub? They reckon the...

I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about...

I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about...