We can't all be heroes because someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.
Quote by Will Rogers
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for...
This thing of being a hero, about the main thing to it is to know...
When ignorance gets started it knows no bounds.
On account of us being a democracy and run by the people, we are the...
In a real estate man's eye, the most expensive part of the city is where...
Live that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.
The United States never lost a war or won a conference.
Lord, let me live until I die.
Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far.
Make crime pay. Become a Lawyer.
We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.
Everything is changing. People are taking the comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.
America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to...
Now if there is one thing that we do worse than any other nation, it...
You can't legislate intelligence and common sense into people
You can't say civilization don't advance... in every war they kill you in a new...
Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.
Things in our country run in spite of government, not by aid of it.
I have in general no very exalted opinion of the virtue of paper government.
Every government has as much of a duty to avoid war as a ship's captain...