Quotes by Woody Allen

In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.

#Woody Allen

If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job

#Woody Allen

If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.

#Woody Allen

I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.

#Woody Allen

I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me...

#Woody Allen

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.

#Woody Allen

I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

#Woody Allen

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to...

#Woody Allen

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that...

#Woody Allen

Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?

#Woody Allen

Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.

#Woody Allen

When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.

#Woody Allen