Quotes by Woody Allen

I took the speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It's...

#Funny, #School

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept...

#Funny, #Sleep

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much...

#Funny, #Sleep

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...

#Funny, #Love

I wish I could think of a positive point to leave you with. Will you...

#Funny, #Happy

As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard...

#Funny, #God

If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.

#Funny, #God

I believe there is something out there watching over us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

#Funny, #God

I think a relationship is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or...

#Strong Relationship

Love is the answer, but while youre waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty...

#Hilarious, #Love

The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue...

#Hilarious, #Love

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...

#Weird Love