Show me a friend in need and I'll show you a pest.

Quote by Joe E Lewis

Topics: Friendship Quotes, Love Quotes

It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor - as long as you've got...

It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor - as long as you've got...

A man is never drunk if he can lay on the floor without holding on.

A man is never drunk if he can lay on the floor without holding on.

You only live once - but if you work it right, once is enough.

You only live once - but if you work it right, once is enough.

Show me a man with very little money and I will show you a bum.

Show me a man with very little money and I will show you a bum.

You are only young once, and if you work it right, once is enough.

You are only young once, and if you work it right, once is enough.

There's only one thing money won't buy, and that is poverty.

There's only one thing money won't buy, and that is poverty.

I've been on such a losing streak that if I had been around I would...

I've been on such a losing streak that if I had been around I would...

I would take a bomb, but I can't stand the noise.

I would take a bomb, but I can't stand the noise.

We can afford almost any mistake once.

We can afford almost any mistake once.

It pays to get drunk with the best people.

It pays to get drunk with the best people.

I don't like money actually, but it quiets the nerves.

I don't like money actually, but it quiets the nerves.

I'm still chasing girls. I don't remember what for, but I'm still chasing them.

I'm still chasing girls. I don't remember what for, but I'm still chasing them.

It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor as long as you've got money.

It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor as long as you've got money.

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so...

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so...

Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my Scotch, I say I'm thirsty,...

Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my Scotch, I say I'm thirsty,...

Show me a man with both feet on the ground and I'll show you a...

Show me a man with both feet on the ground and I'll show you a...

Adlai Stevenson has a genius for saying the right thing, at the right time, to...

Adlai Stevenson has a genius for saying the right thing, at the right time, to...

They had me on the operating table all day. They looked into my stomach, my...

They had me on the operating table all day. They looked into my stomach, my...

I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.

I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.

I always wake up at the crack of ice.

I always wake up at the crack of ice.