Show me a friend in need and I'll show you a pest.
Quote by Joe E Lewis
I'm still chasing girls. I don't remember what for, but I'm still chasing them.
I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.
I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so...
There's only one thing money won't buy, and that is poverty.
A man is never drunk if he can lay on the floor without holding on.
It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor as long as you've got money.
It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor - as long as you've got...
I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days...
Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my Scotch, I say I'm thirsty,...
I don't like money actually, but it quiets the nerves.
The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.
Show me a man with both feet on the ground and I'll show you a...
You are only young once, and if you work it right, once is enough.
It pays to get drunk with the best people.
I would take a bomb, but I can't stand the noise.
I've been on such a losing streak that if I had been around I would...
Adlai Stevenson has a genius for saying the right thing, at the right time, to...
I always wake up at the crack of ice.
They had me on the operating table all day. They looked into my stomach, my...
We can afford almost any mistake once.