There's only one thing money won't buy, and that is poverty.

Quote by Joe E Lewis

Topics: Money Quotes

Show me a friend in need and I'll show you a pest.

Show me a friend in need and I'll show you a pest.

A man is never drunk if he can lay on the floor without holding on.

A man is never drunk if he can lay on the floor without holding on.

The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.

The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.

We can afford almost any mistake once.

We can afford almost any mistake once.

I'm still chasing girls. I don't remember what for, but I'm still chasing them.

I'm still chasing girls. I don't remember what for, but I'm still chasing them.

It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor - as long as you've got...

It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor - as long as you've got...

You only live once - but if you work it right, once is enough.

You only live once - but if you work it right, once is enough.

It pays to get drunk with the best people.

It pays to get drunk with the best people.

I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.

I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so...

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so...

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days...

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days...

I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.

I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.

Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my Scotch, I say I'm thirsty,...

Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my Scotch, I say I'm thirsty,...

Show me a man with both feet on the ground and I'll show you a...

Show me a man with both feet on the ground and I'll show you a...

I would take a bomb, but I can't stand the noise.

I would take a bomb, but I can't stand the noise.

I don't like money actually, but it quiets the nerves.

I don't like money actually, but it quiets the nerves.

I always wake up at the crack of ice.

I always wake up at the crack of ice.

They had me on the operating table all day. They looked into my stomach, my...

They had me on the operating table all day. They looked into my stomach, my...

Adlai Stevenson has a genius for saying the right thing, at the right time, to...

Adlai Stevenson has a genius for saying the right thing, at the right time, to...

I've been on such a losing streak that if I had been around I would...

I've been on such a losing streak that if I had been around I would...