Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.
Quote by George Carlin
George Carlin Quotes
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things
I couldn't commit suicide if my life depended on it
You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.
Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do...
I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...
Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Where's the self-help section? She said...
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
I am is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that...
Religion is just mind control.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will...
When someone is impatient and says, I haven't got all day, I always wonder, How...
When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands.
People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people...
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out...
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
But and if that servant say in his heart, My lord delayeth his coming; and...
One drink is just right; two is too many; three are too few.
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried...