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I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.

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I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

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When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything...

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Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything...

By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember...

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By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember...

When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my...

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When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my...

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than...

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than...

If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die...

If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die...

Sex at age ninety is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

Sex at age ninety is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I...

I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I...

I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.

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I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman -...

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman -...

Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember...

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Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember...

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy...

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Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy...

Be quick to learn and wise to know.

Be quick to learn and wise to know.

Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.

Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.

I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased...

I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased...