Quotes by George Burns

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than...

#Success

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city

#Funny

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.

#Funny

When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my...

#Age, #Funny

By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember...

#Age, #Funny

Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything...

#Age, #Funny

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

#Age, #Funny

I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.

#Death, #Funny

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy...

#Funny, #Life

Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember...

#Drink, #Funny

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman -...

#Happiness

I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.

#Age, #Funny