I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.

Quote by George Burns

Topics: Death Quotes, Funny Quotes

I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I...

I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I...

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what...

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what...

How beautifully leaves grow old. How full of light and color are their last days.

How beautifully leaves grow old. How full of light and color are their last days.

If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die...

If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die...

You've got to be honest; if you can fake that, you've got it made.

You've got to be honest; if you can fake that, you've got it made.

By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember...

By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember...

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a...

I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a...

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city

I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides,...

I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides,...

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.

Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.

It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.

It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.

Be quick to learn and wise to know.

Be quick to learn and wise to know.

I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased...

I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased...

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper...

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper...

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running...

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running...

I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of...

I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of...

You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.

You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.

How can I die? I'm booked.

How can I die? I'm booked.