I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.

Quote by George Burns

Topics: Death Quotes, Funny Quotes

Be quick to learn and wise to know.

Be quick to learn and wise to know.

You've got to be honest; if you can fake that, you've got it made.

You've got to be honest; if you can fake that, you've got it made.

If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die...

If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die...

If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have...

If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have...

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only...

This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only...

You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.

You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.

If it's a good script I'll do it. And if it's a bad script, and...

If it's a good script I'll do it. And if it's a bad script, and...

Sex at age ninety is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

Sex at age ninety is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.

When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my...

When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my...

How can I die? I'm booked.

How can I die? I'm booked.

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running...

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running...

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...

I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of...

I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of...

By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember...

By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember...

Its hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when...

Its hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when...

Some of the dirtiest dogs, past and present, had mothers.

Some of the dirtiest dogs, past and present, had mothers.

I always start writing with a clean piece of paper and a dirty mind.

I always start writing with a clean piece of paper and a dirty mind.

Youre a woman whos been getting nothing but dirty breaks. Well, we can clean and...

Youre a woman whos been getting nothing but dirty breaks. Well, we can clean and...

Youth is full of sport, age's breath is short; youth is nimble, age is lame;...

Youth is full of sport, age's breath is short; youth is nimble, age is lame;...