When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

Quote by George Burns

Topics: Age Quotes, Funny Quotes

If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have...

If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have...

You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.

You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.

If it's a good script I'll do it. And if it's a bad script, and...

If it's a good script I'll do it. And if it's a bad script, and...

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman -...

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman -...

How beautifully leaves grow old. How full of light and color are their last days.

How beautifully leaves grow old. How full of light and color are their last days.

This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only...

This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only...

Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.

Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.

I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I...

I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I...

You've got to be honest; if you can fake that, you've got it made.

You've got to be honest; if you can fake that, you've got it made.

When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my...

When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my...

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good...

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good...

I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides,...

I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides,...

Sex at age ninety is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

Sex at age ninety is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city

By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember...

By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember...

Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life.

Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life.

Its hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when...

Its hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when...

I always start writing with a clean piece of paper and a dirty mind.

I always start writing with a clean piece of paper and a dirty mind.

I see L.A. as a beautiful blonde with dirty underwear.

I see L.A. as a beautiful blonde with dirty underwear.

Im a musician first, a food-lover second, a dirty mouth with feet, and a girl...

Im a musician first, a food-lover second, a dirty mouth with feet, and a girl...

One hour of right-down love is worth an age of dully living on.

One hour of right-down love is worth an age of dully living on.