When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

Quote by George Burns

Topics: Age Quotes, Funny Quotes

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running...

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running...

You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.

You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.

If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have...

If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have...

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good...

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good...

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.

Its hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when...

Its hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when...

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what...

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what...

I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides,...

I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides,...

How can I die? I'm booked.

How can I die? I'm booked.

I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I...

I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I...

Be quick to learn and wise to know.

Be quick to learn and wise to know.

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than...

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than...

Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.

Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman -...

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman -...

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy...

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy...

I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.

I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.

Better pass boldly into that other world, in the full glory of some passion, than...

Better pass boldly into that other world, in the full glory of some passion, than...

Ours is essentially a tragic age, so we refuse to take it tragically.

Ours is essentially a tragic age, so we refuse to take it tragically.

This is the first age that's ever paid much attention to the future, which is...

This is the first age that's ever paid much attention to the future, which is...