By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember it.

Quote by George Burns

Topics: Age Quotes, Funny Quotes

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman -...

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman -...

Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything...

Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything...

You've got to be honest; if you can fake that, you've got it made.

You've got to be honest; if you can fake that, you've got it made.

Be quick to learn and wise to know.

Be quick to learn and wise to know.

This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only...

This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only...

How beautifully leaves grow old. How full of light and color are their last days.

How beautifully leaves grow old. How full of light and color are their last days.

How can I die? I'm booked.

How can I die? I'm booked.

I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.

I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.

The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you've got...

The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you've got...

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running...

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running...

You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.

You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.

Sex at age ninety is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

Sex at age ninety is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good...

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good...

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life.

Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life.

If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die...

If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die...

If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have...

If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have...

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper...

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper...

If it's a good script I'll do it. And if it's a bad script, and...

If it's a good script I'll do it. And if it's a bad script, and...

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.