By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember it.

Quote by George Burns

Topics: Age Quotes, Funny Quotes

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than...

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than...

I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased...

I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased...

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman -...

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman -...

Sex at age ninety is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

Sex at age ninety is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything...

Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything...

I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.

I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.

Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember...

Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember...

Its hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when...

Its hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when...

You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.

You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running...

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running...

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only...

This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only...

When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my...

When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my...

I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a...

I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a...

Be quick to learn and wise to know.

Be quick to learn and wise to know.

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.

As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people don't.

As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people don't.

An age at which many men are not quite common - at which they are...

An age at which many men are not quite common - at which they are...