Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.

Quote by George Burns

Topics: Funny Quotes, Life Quotes

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.

You've got to be honest; if you can fake that, you've got it made.

You've got to be honest; if you can fake that, you've got it made.

This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only...

This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only...

How beautifully leaves grow old. How full of light and color are their last days.

How beautifully leaves grow old. How full of light and color are their last days.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city

Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life.

Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life.

You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.

You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.

I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides,...

I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides,...

I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a...

I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a...

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper...

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper...

If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die...

If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die...

I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased...

I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased...

When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my...

When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my...

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.

I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.

Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything...

Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything...

On the whole, age comes more gently to those who have some doorway into an...

On the whole, age comes more gently to those who have some doorway into an...

I have learned from an early age to abjured the use of meat, and the...

I have learned from an early age to abjured the use of meat, and the...

One should never make one's debut in a scandal. One should reserve that to give...

One should never make one's debut in a scandal. One should reserve that to give...

I came in here and a fella asked me to have a drink. I said...

I came in here and a fella asked me to have a drink. I said...