Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
Quote by George Burns
Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything...
I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides,...
I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased...
I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die...
Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good...
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...
This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only...
Be quick to learn and wise to know.
You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.
I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than...
Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life.
How can I die? I'm booked.
It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.
You've got to be honest; if you can fake that, you've got it made.
When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my...
Its hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when...
I always start writing with a clean piece of paper and a dirty mind.
I see L.A. as a beautiful blonde with dirty underwear.
Spent the entire night trying to create a website for women drivers, but it kept...