I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.

Quote by George Burns

Topics: Age Quotes, Funny Quotes

By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember...

By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember...

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good...

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good...

You've got to be honest; if you can fake that, you've got it made.

You've got to be honest; if you can fake that, you've got it made.

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy...

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy...

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

How beautifully leaves grow old. How full of light and color are their last days.

How beautifully leaves grow old. How full of light and color are their last days.

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city

If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have...

If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have...

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than...

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than...

Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.

Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.

Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life.

Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life.

Its hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when...

Its hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when...

I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.

I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.

The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you've got...

The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you've got...

If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die...

If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die...

A test of a people is how it behaves toward the old. It is easy...

A test of a people is how it behaves toward the old. It is easy...

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.