When the girlfriend and I get in an argument, I begin to believe in flying saucers...and plates, pots, mugs...

Quote by Robert Paul

Topics: Funny Quotes, Jokes Quotes

Always be wary of the Software Engineer who carries a screwdriver.

Always be wary of the Software Engineer who carries a screwdriver.

The only way to make your PC go faster is to throw it out a...

The only way to make your PC go faster is to throw it out a...

The golden rule of work is that the bosses jokes are ALWAYS funny.

The golden rule of work is that the bosses jokes are ALWAYS funny.

Last christmas my sister, Geri, gave me a lovely Cloth calendar. It only took me...

Last christmas my sister, Geri, gave me a lovely Cloth calendar. It only took me...

So one day as a kid I was at the local Zoo. I was bored...

So one day as a kid I was at the local Zoo. I was bored...

You're fooling yourself if you argue with a fool - others may not know the...

You're fooling yourself if you argue with a fool - others may not know the...

My computer goes down on me more often than my girlfriend.

My computer goes down on me more often than my girlfriend.

I only go to work on days that don't end in a 'y'.

I only go to work on days that don't end in a 'y'.

Love is the heart of the soul.

Love is the heart of the soul.

You know you''re getting old, when Santa starts looking younger.

You know you''re getting old, when Santa starts looking younger.

A woman knows she's wearing the right dress, when her man wants to take it...

A woman knows she's wearing the right dress, when her man wants to take it...

Money isn't everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children.

Money isn't everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

Women have a passion for mathematics. They divide their age in half, double the price...

Women have a passion for mathematics. They divide their age in half, double the price...

I was so poor growing up...if I wasn't a boy...I'd have nothing to play with.

I was so poor growing up...if I wasn't a boy...I'd have nothing to play with.

A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.

A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.

Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac who stays up all night wondering if...

Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac who stays up all night wondering if...

The truth always comes back....either to shake your hand or to slap your face.

The truth always comes back....either to shake your hand or to slap your face.

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I...

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I...

There are two ways to do great mathematics. The first is to be smarter than...

There are two ways to do great mathematics. The first is to be smarter than...

He was a cowboy, mister, and he loved the land. He loved it so much...

He was a cowboy, mister, and he loved the land. He loved it so much...