Last christmas my sister, Geri, gave me a lovely Cloth calendar. It only took me 5 hours to sew in a Doctor's appointment...

Quote by Robert Paul

Topics: Funny Quotes, Jokes Quotes

The only way to make your PC go faster is to throw it out a...

The only way to make your PC go faster is to throw it out a...

A woman knows she's wearing the right dress, when her man wants to take it...

A woman knows she's wearing the right dress, when her man wants to take it...

When the girlfriend and I get in an argument, I begin to believe in flying...

When the girlfriend and I get in an argument, I begin to believe in flying...

My computer goes down on me more often than my girlfriend.

My computer goes down on me more often than my girlfriend.

You're fooling yourself if you argue with a fool - others may not know the...

You're fooling yourself if you argue with a fool - others may not know the...

I only go to work on days that don't end in a 'y'.

I only go to work on days that don't end in a 'y'.

The golden rule of work is that the bosses jokes are ALWAYS funny.

The golden rule of work is that the bosses jokes are ALWAYS funny.

You know you''re getting old, when Santa starts looking younger.

You know you''re getting old, when Santa starts looking younger.

Always be wary of the Software Engineer who carries a screwdriver.

Always be wary of the Software Engineer who carries a screwdriver.

So one day as a kid I was at the local Zoo. I was bored...

So one day as a kid I was at the local Zoo. I was bored...

Love is the heart of the soul.

Love is the heart of the soul.

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a bitch.

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a bitch.

Some of the dirtiest dogs, past and present, had mothers.

Some of the dirtiest dogs, past and present, had mothers.

Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand,...

Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand,...

In youth the days are short and the years are long. In old age the...

In youth the days are short and the years are long. In old age the...

Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.

Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.

A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year....

A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year....

I've honestly not been too aware of my age until I went to the doctor...

I've honestly not been too aware of my age until I went to the doctor...

Weekends don't pay as well as weekdays but at least there's football.

Weekends don't pay as well as weekdays but at least there's football.

I would rather have an inferiority complex and be pleasantly surprised, than have a superiority...

I would rather have an inferiority complex and be pleasantly surprised, than have a superiority...

By loving, the man acts on himself by acting on the image of his own...

By loving, the man acts on himself by acting on the image of his own...