Last christmas my sister, Geri, gave me a lovely Cloth calendar. It only took me 5 hours to sew in a Doctor's appointment...

Quote by Robert Paul

Topics: Funny Quotes, Jokes Quotes

So one day as a kid I was at the local Zoo. I was bored...

So one day as a kid I was at the local Zoo. I was bored...

The only way to make your PC go faster is to throw it out a...

The only way to make your PC go faster is to throw it out a...

When the girlfriend and I get in an argument, I begin to believe in flying...

When the girlfriend and I get in an argument, I begin to believe in flying...

Love is the heart of the soul.

Love is the heart of the soul.

The golden rule of work is that the bosses jokes are ALWAYS funny.

The golden rule of work is that the bosses jokes are ALWAYS funny.

Always be wary of the Software Engineer who carries a screwdriver.

Always be wary of the Software Engineer who carries a screwdriver.

You know you''re getting old, when Santa starts looking younger.

You know you''re getting old, when Santa starts looking younger.

You're fooling yourself if you argue with a fool - others may not know the...

You're fooling yourself if you argue with a fool - others may not know the...

A woman knows she's wearing the right dress, when her man wants to take it...

A woman knows she's wearing the right dress, when her man wants to take it...

My computer goes down on me more often than my girlfriend.

My computer goes down on me more often than my girlfriend.

I only go to work on days that don't end in a 'y'.

I only go to work on days that don't end in a 'y'.

As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly.

As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly.

Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

Individual character involves honoring and embracing certain core ethical values; honesty, respect, responsibility . ....

Individual character involves honoring and embracing certain core ethical values; honesty, respect, responsibility . ....

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only...

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only...

Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are...

Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are...

Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.

Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.

A theory may be so rich in descriptive possibilities that it can be made to...

A theory may be so rich in descriptive possibilities that it can be made to...

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.

For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper...

For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper...

To tell you the truth, in my work, love is always in opposition to the...

To tell you the truth, in my work, love is always in opposition to the...