Im convinced that God gave us Mondays to punish us for the things we did over the weekend...

Topics: Funny Quotes, Monday Quotes

Death is not evil, for it frees man from all ills and takes away his...

Death is not evil, for it frees man from all ills and takes away his...

You can't expect to hit the jackpot if you don't put a few nickels in...

You can't expect to hit the jackpot if you don't put a few nickels in...

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games...

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games...

I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a...

I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a...

The problem with winter sports is that, follow me closely here, they generally take place...

The problem with winter sports is that, follow me closely here, they generally take place...

You see, money's not everything in life is it? but it keeps you in touch...

You see, money's not everything in life is it? but it keeps you in touch...

The fastest way to meet new people is to pick up somebody else's change at...

The fastest way to meet new people is to pick up somebody else's change at...

Neanderthal age of biology and the convenience of man.

Neanderthal age of biology and the convenience of man.

Change is inevitable - except from a vending machine

Change is inevitable - except from a vending machine

It's awful knowing that one seventh of our life will be wasted on Mondays.

It's awful knowing that one seventh of our life will be wasted on Mondays.

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up they have no holidays.

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up they have no holidays.

The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is...

The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is...

Among the virtues and vices that make up the British character, we have one vice,...

Among the virtues and vices that make up the British character, we have one vice,...

When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a...

When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a...

Dear God, my prayer for 2012 is a fat bank account and a thin body....

Dear God, my prayer for 2012 is a fat bank account and a thin body....

I think he [Archie Bunker] is in every man my age, no matter what he...

I think he [Archie Bunker] is in every man my age, no matter what he...

We live in an increasingly sophisticated world that makes it difficult to make simple comments...

We live in an increasingly sophisticated world that makes it difficult to make simple comments...

A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.

A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.

Monday is a dreadful way to spend 1/7 of your life.

Monday is a dreadful way to spend 1/7 of your life.

Ive come to the conclusion that Mondays last 50% longer than the other days...each.

Ive come to the conclusion that Mondays last 50% longer than the other days...each.