Does anyone here work in advertising or marketing? Well if you do, when you get home take a gun shoot yourself. No bullshit, I'm not joking just do it. I'm just sowing seeds, one day they may take root.

Quote by Bill Hicks

Topics: Comedy Quotes, Humor Quotes

People ask me what I think about that woman priest thing. What, a woman priest?...

People ask me what I think about that woman priest thing. What, a woman priest?...

Dinosaur fossils? God put those there to test our faith." Thank God I'm strapped in...

Dinosaur fossils? God put those there to test our faith.

I left in love, in laughter, and in truth, and wherever truth, love and laughter...

I left in love, in laughter, and in truth, and wherever truth, love and laughter...

It's just a ride and we can change it any time we want. It's only...

It's just a ride and we can change it any time we want. It's only...

I'll show you politics in America. Here it is, right here. 'I think the puppet...

I'll show you politics in America. Here it is, right here. 'I think the puppet...

I'm not really a heavy smoker any more. I only get through two lighters a...

I'm not really a heavy smoker any more. I only get through two lighters a...

We gotta come to some new ideas about life folks ok? I'm not being blase...

We gotta come to some new ideas about life folks ok? I'm not being blase...

See we just had a misunderstanding. I thought we lived in the U.S. of A.,...

See we just had a misunderstanding. I thought we lived in the U.S. of A.,...

I've learned a lot about women. I think I've learned exactly how the fall of...

I've learned a lot about women. I think I've learned exactly how the fall of...

You know we armed Iraq. I wondered about that too, you know during the Persian...

You know we armed Iraq. I wondered about that too, you know during the Persian...

One of my big fears in life is that I'm gonna die and my parents...

One of my big fears in life is that I'm gonna die and my parents...

Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye.

Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye.

I love talking about the Kennedy assasination. The reason I do is because I'm fascinated...

I love talking about the Kennedy assasination. The reason I do is because I'm fascinated...

They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When you're high, you...

They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When you're high, you...

Nazis are for the New Age concern.

Nazis are for the New Age concern.

I'll show you politics in America. Here it is, right here. 'I think the puppet...

I'll show you politics in America. Here it is, right here. 'I think the puppet...

Go back to bed, America, your government has figured out how it all transpired. Go...

Go back to bed, America, your government has figured out how it all transpired. Go...

The passion for office among members of Congress is very great, if not absolutely disreputable,...

The passion for office among members of Congress is very great, if not absolutely disreputable,...

The benefits of education and of useful knowledge, generally diffused through a community, are essential...

The benefits of education and of useful knowledge, generally diffused through a community, are essential...

The first duty of a government is to give education to the people

The first duty of a government is to give education to the people