Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Groucho Marx Quotes

Home is where you hang your head

Home is where you hang your head

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.

Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's...

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's...

I find television to be very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I...

I find television to be very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I...

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I convulsed...

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I convulsed...

When I was young I was amazed at Plutarch's statement that the elder Cato began...

When I was young I was amazed at Plutarch's statement that the elder Cato began...

No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.

No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.

Room service? Send up a larger room.

Room service? Send up a larger room.

I chased a woman for almost two years only to discover her tastes were exactly...

I chased a woman for almost two years only to discover her tastes were exactly...

I could dance till the cows come home. On second thought, I'd rather dance with...

I could dance till the cows come home. On second thought, I'd rather dance with...

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.

Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow...

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow...

Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.

Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.

If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it...

If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it...

No-one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend

No-one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend

My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me.

My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me.

No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.

No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.