Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Groucho Marx Quotes

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does

I chased a woman for almost two years only to discover her tastes were exactly...

I chased a woman for almost two years only to discover her tastes were exactly...

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?

Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an...

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an...

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog...

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog...

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.

No man goes before his time unless the boss leaves early.

No man goes before his time unless the boss leaves early.

Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy

Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy

My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually...

My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually...

The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These...

The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These...

In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.

In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was...

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was...

I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.

I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.

Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.

Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.

I find television to be very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I...

I find television to be very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I...