The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.

Quote by George Carlin

Topics: George Carlin Quotes

When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to...

When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to...

If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone...

If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone...

Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do...

Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do...

I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School...

I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School...

Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticide grain, For strip-mined mountain's majesty above the asphalt plain....

Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticide grain, For strip-mined mountain's majesty above the asphalt plain....

Baseball is the only major sport that appears backward in a mirror

Baseball is the only major sport that appears backward in a mirror

I couldn't commit suicide if my life depended on it

I couldn't commit suicide if my life depended on it

If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more...

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more...

The status quo sucks.

The status quo sucks.

Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told...

Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told...

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people...

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people...

One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.

One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.

Were having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, were...

Were having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, were...

Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left...

Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left...

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is...

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is...

The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.

The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out...

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out...

It takes a long time to grow an old friend.

It takes a long time to grow an old friend.

A faithful friend is a strong defense: and he that hath found one hath found...

A faithful friend is a strong defense: and he that hath found one hath found...

Of course there's a lot of knowledge in universities: the freshmen bring a little in;...

Of course there's a lot of knowledge in universities: the freshmen bring a little in;...