One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.

Quote by George Carlin

Topics: Funny Friendship Quotes

When I got out of high school they retired my jersey, but it was for...

When I got out of high school they retired my jersey, but it was for...

If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.

If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.

One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.

One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.

What are you going to do, play with your prick for another 20 to 30...

What are you going to do, play with your prick for another 20 to 30...

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.

I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that...

I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that...

When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to...

When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to...

Were having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, were...

Were having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, were...

I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will...

I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will...

If a movie is described as a romantic comedy you can usually find me next...

If a movie is described as a romantic comedy you can usually find me next...

I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed.

I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed.

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to...

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to...

The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind...

The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind...

When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I...

When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I...

If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone...

If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone...

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

Why is there so much controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who...

Why is there so much controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who...

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.

A solid answer to everything is not necessary. Blurry concepts influence one to focus, but...

A solid answer to everything is not necessary. Blurry concepts influence one to focus, but...

Love is the only reality and it is not a mere sentiment. It is the...

Love is the only reality and it is not a mere sentiment. It is the...