Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex.

Quote by Bill Maher

Topics: Children Quotes, Funny Quotes

It's all been satirized for your protection.

It's all been satirized for your protection.

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to...

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to...

Janet Jackson's 'wardrobe malfunction' cost CBS Five hundred and Fifty grand this week. Boy, what...

Janet Jackson's 'wardrobe malfunction' cost CBS Five hundred and Fifty grand this week. Boy, what...

Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more...

Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more...

Clinton left the White House with all the class of an XFL halftime show.

Clinton left the White House with all the class of an XFL halftime show.

The Bible looks like it started out as a game of Mad Libs.

The Bible looks like it started out as a game of Mad Libs.

I don't want my president to be a TV star. You don't have to be...

I don't want my president to be a TV star. You don't have to be...

We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying...

We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying...

Little do women know what big ideas I have in my pants.

Little do women know what big ideas I have in my pants.

Abstinence is a perversion.

Abstinence is a perversion.

And to answer the question that people have about this conspiracy theory that he has...

And to answer the question that people have about this conspiracy theory that he has...

We are a nation that is unenlightened because of religion. I do believe that. I...

We are a nation that is unenlightened because of religion. I do believe that. I...

Today is 'Take our Daughters to Work Day.' This is when girls ages Nine to...

Today is 'Take our Daughters to Work Day.' This is when girls ages Nine to...

And to answer the question that people have about this conspiracy theory that he has...

And to answer the question that people have about this conspiracy theory that he has...

When we make mistakes they call it evil

When we make mistakes they call it evil

Maybe every other American movie shouldn't be based on a comic book. Other countries will...

Maybe every other American movie shouldn't be based on a comic book. Other countries will...

People have romantic notions about television. In the highest realms they think it's some sort...

People have romantic notions about television. In the highest realms they think it's some sort...

Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been...

Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been...

Unlike productions in the other arts, all television shows are born to destroy two other...

Unlike productions in the other arts, all television shows are born to destroy two other...

Anyone who lies golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.

Anyone who lies golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.