The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.

Quote by Bob Hope

Topics: Bob Hope Quotes

I love to go to Washington -- if only to be near my money.

I love to go to Washington -- if only to be near my money.

A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.

A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you...

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you...

You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I...

My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I...

I'll tell 'ya how to stay young: Hang around with older people

I'll tell 'ya how to stay young: Hang around with older people

Kissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough

Kissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough

If I'm on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast. If God wants...

If I'm on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast. If God wants...

Isn't it fun to go out on the course and lie in the sun?

Isn't it fun to go out on the course and lie in the sun?

They'll always be an England, even if it's in Hollywood.

They'll always be an England, even if it's in Hollywood.

I'll tell 'ya how to stay young: Hang around with older people

I'll tell 'ya how to stay young: Hang around with older people

Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning.

Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning.

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance -waiting for the...

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance -waiting for the...

You've got to be rich to have a swing like that.

You've got to be rich to have a swing like that.

If you haven't got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of...

If you haven't got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of...

Most of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies

Most of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies

If you haven't any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart...

If you haven't any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart...

Most men love money and security more, and creation and construction less, as they get...

Most men love money and security more, and creation and construction less, as they get...

Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies,...

Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies,...

Every man is his own ancestor, and every man is his own heir. He devises...

Every man is his own ancestor, and every man is his own heir. He devises...