I do benefits for all religions - I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.

Quote by Bob Hope

Topics: Bob Hope Quotes

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.

He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.

He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.

You've got to be rich to have a swing like that.

You've got to be rich to have a swing like that.

Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.

Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.

If I'm on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast. If God wants...

If I'm on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast. If God wants...

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the...

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the...

I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.

I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.

I'll tell 'ya how to stay young: Hang around with older people

I'll tell 'ya how to stay young: Hang around with older people

I'll tell 'ya how to stay young: Hang around with older people

I'll tell 'ya how to stay young: Hang around with older people

Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning.

Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning.

I like to play in the low 70's. If it gets any hotter than that...

I like to play in the low 70's. If it gets any hotter than that...

My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I...

My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I...

At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to...

At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to...

Most of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies

Most of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's...

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's...

You never get tired unless you stop and take time for it.

You never get tired unless you stop and take time for it.

She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.

She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.

You've got to be rich to have a swing like that.

You've got to be rich to have a swing like that.

I've always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.

I've always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for...

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for...