Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Best Friends Quotes, Funny Quotes

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does

I chased a woman for almost two years only to discover her tastes were exactly...

I chased a woman for almost two years only to discover her tastes were exactly...

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

I chased a girl for two years only to discover that her tastes were exactly...

I chased a girl for two years only to discover that her tastes were exactly...

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.

I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for...

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for...

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog...

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog...

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into...

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into...

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

Dont ever underestimate the importance of money. I know its often been said that money...

Dont ever underestimate the importance of money. I know its often been said that money...

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas...

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas...

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.

Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.

Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.

I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to...

I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to...

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

I find television to be very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I...

I find television to be very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I...