Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Best Friends Quotes, Funny Quotes

Before I speak, I have something important to say.

Before I speak, I have something important to say.

No man goes before his time unless the boss leaves early.

No man goes before his time unless the boss leaves early.

Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have...

Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have...

Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?

Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf...

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf...

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Do you mind if I don't smoke ?

Do you mind if I don't smoke ?

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.

Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.

I could dance till the cows come home. On second thought, I'd rather dance with...

I could dance till the cows come home. On second thought, I'd rather dance with...

Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to...

Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to...

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow...

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow...

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog...

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog...

I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that

I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that

Censorship reflects a society's lack of confidence in itself. It is a hallmark of an...

Censorship reflects a society's lack of confidence in itself. It is a hallmark of an...

The self-confidence of the warrior is not the self-confidence of the average man. The average...

The self-confidence of the warrior is not the self-confidence of the average man. The average...