Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.

Quote by George Carlin

Topics: George Carlin Quotes

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that...

I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that...

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof...

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof...

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough...

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough...

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.

If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to...

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to...

Always do whatever's next.

Always do whatever's next.

I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good...

I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good...

Why is there so much controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who...

Why is there so much controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who...

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone...

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone...

Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going...

Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going...

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called...

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called...

People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people...

People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people...

If you think there's a solution, you're part of the problem

If you think there's a solution, you're part of the problem

What we're saying today is that you're either part of the solution or you're part...

What we're saying today is that you're either part of the solution or you're part...

Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.

Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.