Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.

Quote by George Carlin

Topics: George Carlin Quotes

What are you going to do, play with your prick for another 20 to 30...

What are you going to do, play with your prick for another 20 to 30...

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more...

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more...

We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're...

We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're...

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.

I am is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that...

I am is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that...

I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School...

I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School...

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out...

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out...

Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of...

Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of...

When I got out of high school they retired my jersey, but it was for...

When I got out of high school they retired my jersey, but it was for...

Religion is just mind control.

Religion is just mind control.

Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told...

Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told...

Think off-center.

Think off-center.

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people...

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people...

Electricity is really just organized lightning.

Electricity is really just organized lightning.

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

Religion is just mind control

Religion is just mind control

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad...

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad...

If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.

If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.