I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Groucho Marx Quotes

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.

My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually...

My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually...

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough

Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy

Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can...

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can...

All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.

All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and...

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and...

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?

Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?

Youre a woman whos been getting nothing but dirty breaks. Well, we can clean and...

Youre a woman whos been getting nothing but dirty breaks. Well, we can clean and...

Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever...

Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever...

I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that

I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does

Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.

Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.

Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old...

Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old...