The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Children Quotes, Funny Quotes

Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there...

Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there...

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...

Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down....

Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down....

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.

I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.

I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave...

I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave...

I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!

I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!

I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife

I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.

It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.

Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.

His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.

His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too...

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too...

Those days when you wake up and you just know that it's going to be...

Those days when you wake up and you just know that it's going to be...

Personally, I don't think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be...

Personally, I don't think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be...