The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Children Quotes, Funny Quotes

There is no remedy for sex but more sex.

There is no remedy for sex but more sex.

The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue...

The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue...

Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.

Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.

More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to...

More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to...

Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some...

Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some...

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job

If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.

Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too...

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too...

I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves...

I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves...

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last...

The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last...

I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me...

I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me...

As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard...

As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard...

She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set...

She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set...

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

The country was founded on the principle that the primary role of government is to...

The country was founded on the principle that the primary role of government is to...

A good government remains the greatest of human blessings and no nation has ever enjoyed...

A good government remains the greatest of human blessings and no nation has ever enjoyed...