The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Children Quotes, Funny Quotes

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?

Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?

The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what...

The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what...

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid...

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid...

I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.

I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more...

Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more...

Although we've come to the end of the road, still I can't let you go,...

Although we've come to the end of the road, still I can't let you go,...

I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it...

I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it...

80% of success is showing up.

80% of success is showing up.

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in...

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in...

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too...

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too...

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

I've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness is me

I've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness is me

Freedom is a package deal - with it comes responsibilities and consequences

Freedom is a package deal - with it comes responsibilities and consequences

The ideals which have always shone before me and filled me with the joy of...

The ideals which have always shone before me and filled me with the joy of...