If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
Quote by Robin Williams
I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you.
No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world.
See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only...
If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?
Carpe per diem - seize the check.
When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family...
Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?
When the media ask George W. Bush a question, he answers, 'Can I use a...
Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper...
Politics: Poli a Latin word meaning many; and tics meaning bloodsucking creatures.
Spring is nature's way of saying, Let's party!
Reality: What a concept!
When in doubt, go for the dick joke.
Comedy is acting out optimism.
Do you think God gets stoned? I think so... look at the platypus.
I like my wine like my women -- ready to pass out.
Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose.
You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.
I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... a large Arctic...
What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong.