Men wearing pants so tight that you can tell what religion they are.
Quote by Robin Williams
Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose.
Being a famous print journalist is like being the best-dressed woman on radio.
See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only...
Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?
Cricket is basically baseball on valium.
I like my wine like my women - ready to pass out.
You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
The Russians love Brooke Shields because her eyebrows remind them of Leonid Brezhnev.
Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper...
Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.
If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?
Freud: If its not one thing, its your mother.
Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals...
I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... a large Arctic...
Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through...
You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.
Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money.
Ah, yes, Divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a mans genitals through...
Working long hours being single helps because your time is yours. Once you have a...
Boys suck! Just confirmation that I'd rather be alone!
Love is a feeling, marriage is a contract, and relationships are work.
A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.