See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.

Quote by Robin Williams

Topics: Robin Williams Quotes

Carpe per diem - seize the check.

Carpe per diem - seize the check.

The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, 'Give me your poor, your tired, your...

The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, 'Give me your poor, your tired, your...

When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family...

When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family...

We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.

We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.

You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.

You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.

You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.

You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.

Politics: Poli a Latin word meaning many; and tics meaning bloodsucking creatures.

Politics: Poli a Latin word meaning many; and tics meaning bloodsucking creatures.

Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.

Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.

If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?

If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?

When in doubt, go for the dick joke.

When in doubt, go for the dick joke.

We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.

We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.

We have a president for whom English is a second language. He's like 'We have...

We have a president for whom English is a second language. He's like 'We have...

Spring is nature's way of saying, Let's party!

Spring is nature's way of saying, Let's party!

Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper...

Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper...

You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.

You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.

I like my wine like my women -- ready to pass out.

I like my wine like my women -- ready to pass out.

Reality: What a concept!

Reality: What a concept!

Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals...

Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals...

Oh yeah drugs, ya gotta have drugs.

Oh yeah drugs, ya gotta have drugs.

When Communist U.S.S.R. was a superpower, the world was better off. The right-wing media is...

When Communist U.S.S.R. was a superpower, the world was better off. The right-wing media is...

Whoever said Marriage is a 50-50 proposition laid the foundation for more divorce fees than...

Whoever said Marriage is a 50-50 proposition laid the foundation for more divorce fees than...

California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.

California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.

Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast...

Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast...