See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.

Quote by Robin Williams

Topics: Comedy Quotes, Funny Quotes, God Quotes, Humor Quotes

People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White...

People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White...

You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.

You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.

We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.

We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.

When the media ask George W. Bush a question, he answers, 'Can I use a...

When the media ask George W. Bush a question, he answers, 'Can I use a...

Gentiles are people who eat mayonnaise for no reason.

Gentiles are people who eat mayonnaise for no reason.

Carpe per diem - seize the check.

Carpe per diem - seize the check.

Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals...

Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals...

Cricket is basically baseball on valium.

Cricket is basically baseball on valium.

God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply...

God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply...

Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals...

Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals...

Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper...

Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper...

When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family...

When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family...

Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through...

Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through...

Ah, yes, Divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a mans genitals through...

Ah, yes, Divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a mans genitals through...

The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, 'Give me your poor, your tired, your...

The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, 'Give me your poor, your tired, your...

The Second Amendment says we have the right to bear arms, not to bear artillery.

The Second Amendment says we have the right to bear arms, not to bear artillery.

We have a president for whom English is a second language. He's like 'We have...

We have a president for whom English is a second language. He's like 'We have...

Dictators are rulers who always look good until the last ten minutes

Dictators are rulers who always look good until the last ten minutes

More harm was done in the 20th century by faceless bureaucrats than tyrant dictators.

More harm was done in the 20th century by faceless bureaucrats than tyrant dictators.

Democracy consists of choosing your dictators after they've told you what you think it is...

Democracy consists of choosing your dictators after they've told you what you think it is...