I've got a very poor sense of direction. I keep forgetting which way is forwards.

Quote by Geoffrey Parfitt

Topics: Funny Quotes, Jokes Quotes

There's an old saying - There's No Place Like Home. Well, I went in the...

There's an old saying - There's No Place Like Home. Well, I went in the...

People say that age is just a state of mind. I say it's more about...

People say that age is just a state of mind. I say it's more about...

Never take a blind date to a silent film.

Never take a blind date to a silent film.

Had I been present at the creation, I would have given some useful hints for...

Had I been present at the creation, I would have given some useful hints for...

Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.

Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.

The belly will not listen to advice.

The belly will not listen to advice.

My job is to give the president and secretary of defense military advice before they...

My job is to give the president and secretary of defense military advice before they...

Love will ask you to step out of your comfort zone, to sacrifice and to...

Love will ask you to step out of your comfort zone, to sacrifice and to...

It is always a silly thing to give advice, but to give good advice is...

It is always a silly thing to give advice, but to give good advice is...

The golden rule is that there are no golden rules.

The golden rule is that there are no golden rules.

My best advice to anyone who wants to raise a happy, mentally healthy child is:...

My best advice to anyone who wants to raise a happy, mentally healthy child is:...

Stop trying to prove your haters wrong and prove your supporters right! The more you...

Stop trying to prove your haters wrong and prove your supporters right! The more you...

And it was so, that all that saw it said, There was no such deed...

And it was so, that all that saw it said, There was no such deed...

A bad attitude is like a flat tire. If you dont change it, you'll never...

A bad attitude is like a flat tire. If you dont change it, you'll never...

Most people when they come to you for advice, come to have their own opinions...

Most people when they come to you for advice, come to have their own opinions...

When I was 40, my doctor advised me that a man in his 40s shouldn't...

When I was 40, my doctor advised me that a man in his 40s shouldn't...

Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice; Pull down your pants, and slide on the ice.

Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice; Pull down your pants, and slide on the ice.

I wish I could give you a lot of advice, based on my experience of...

I wish I could give you a lot of advice, based on my experience of...

An expert is somebody who is more than 50 miles from home, has no responsibility...

An expert is somebody who is more than 50 miles from home, has no responsibility...

A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes.

A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes.

I am convinced that He (God) does not play dice.

I am convinced that He (God) does not play dice.