I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.

Quote by George Carlin

Topics: George Carlin Quotes

What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?

What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a...

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a...

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

The status quo sucks.

The status quo sucks.

I couldn't commit suicide if my life depended on it

I couldn't commit suicide if my life depended on it

I am is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that...

I am is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that...

What are you going to do, play with your prick for another 20 to 30...

What are you going to do, play with your prick for another 20 to 30...

Why is there so much controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who...

Why is there so much controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who...

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough...

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough...

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.

When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands.

When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands.

Most people with low self-esteem have earned it

Most people with low self-esteem have earned it

I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School...

I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School...

The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an...

The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an...

Electricity is really just organized lightning.

Electricity is really just organized lightning.

Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of...

Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of...

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.

Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do...

Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do...

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.

I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will...

I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will...