When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.

Quote by George Carlin

Topics: George Carlin Quotes

People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people...

People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people...

If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone...

If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone...

What are you going to do, play with your prick for another 20 to 30...

What are you going to do, play with your prick for another 20 to 30...

The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind...

The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind...

If a man smiles all the time, he's probably selling something that doesn't work

If a man smiles all the time, he's probably selling something that doesn't work

The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.

The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a...

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a...

Electricity is really just organized lightning.

Electricity is really just organized lightning.

If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As...

Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As...

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to...

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to...

Why is there so much controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who...

Why is there so much controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who...

Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told...

Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told...

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof...

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof...

I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that...

I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that...

There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.

There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.

Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of...

Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of...

One word or a pleasing smile is often enough to raise up a saddened and...

One word or a pleasing smile is often enough to raise up a saddened and...

All you need to do to be a bit sexier is to smile once in...

All you need to do to be a bit sexier is to smile once in...

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.