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The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I...

The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I...

Why is there so much controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who...

Why is there so much controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who...

I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to...

I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to...

What are you going to do, play with your prick for another 20 to 30...

What are you going to do, play with your prick for another 20 to 30...

Religion is just mind control.

Religion is just mind control.

Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left...

Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left...

When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in...

When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in...

Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticide grain, For strip-mined mountain's majesty above the asphalt plain....

Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticide grain, For strip-mined mountain's majesty above the asphalt plain....

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.

Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that...

Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that...

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice?'

Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice?'

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad...

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad...

If a movie is described as a romantic comedy you can usually find me next...

If a movie is described as a romantic comedy you can usually find me next...

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Where's the self-help section? She said...

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Where's the self-help section? She said...

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more...

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more...

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to...

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to...

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

I personally prefer a nice frozen TV Dinner at home, mainly because it's so little...

I personally prefer a nice frozen TV Dinner at home, mainly because it's so little...

His eyes shall see his destruction, and he shall drink of the wrath of the...

His eyes shall see his destruction, and he shall drink of the wrath of the...

A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog...

A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog...