I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers.

Quote by Ogden Nash

Topics: Ogden Nash Quotes

The cow is of the bovine ilk; one end is moo, the other milk.

The cow is of the bovine ilk; one end is moo, the other milk.

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.

Women would rather be right than reasonable.

Women would rather be right than reasonable.

People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they...

People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they...

Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny -...

Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny -...

I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it.

I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it.

Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.

Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.

Every Englishman is convinced of one thing, viz.: That to be an Englishman is to...

Every Englishman is convinced of one thing, viz.: That to be an Englishman is to...

Some debts are fun when you are acquiring them, but none are fun when you...

Some debts are fun when you are acquiring them, but none are fun when you...

A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick...

A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick...

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.

I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless...

I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless...

Children aren't happy without something to ignore, And that's what parents were created for.

Children aren't happy without something to ignore, And that's what parents were created for.

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the...

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the...

Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet...

Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet...

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone...

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone...

There are people who are very resourceful, at being remorseful, and who apparently feel that...

There are people who are very resourceful, at being remorseful, and who apparently feel that...

It is in the thirties that we want friends. In the forties we know they...

It is in the thirties that we want friends. In the forties we know they...

One enemy can do more hurt than ten friends can do good.

One enemy can do more hurt than ten friends can do good.

Most of the stuff I do on the show comes out of me just trying...

Most of the stuff I do on the show comes out of me just trying...