There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all.

Quote by Ogden Nash

Topics: Funny Quotes, Happiness Quotes

A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick...

A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick...

I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it.

I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it.

They take the paper and they read the headlines, so they've heard of unemployment and...

They take the paper and they read the headlines, so they've heard of unemployment and...

The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin.

The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin.

People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they...

People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they...

Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs.

Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs.

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone...

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone...

Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet...

Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet...

Your hair may be brushed, but your mind's untidy. You've had about seven hours of...

Your hair may be brushed, but your mind's untidy. You've had about seven hours of...

Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind.

Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind.

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone...

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone...

I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless...

I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless...

Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.

Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.

Sleep is perverse as human nature, Sleep is perverse as a legislature, Sleep is as...

Sleep is perverse as human nature, Sleep is perverse as a legislature, Sleep is as...

Women would rather be right than reasonable.

Women would rather be right than reasonable.

Nobody agrees with anybody else anyhow, but adults conceal it and infants show it

Nobody agrees with anybody else anyhow, but adults conceal it and infants show it

Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.

Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.

Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.

Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.

The cow is of the bovine ilk; one end is moo, the other milk.

The cow is of the bovine ilk; one end is moo, the other milk.

The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.

The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.