There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all.

Quote by Ogden Nash

Topics: Funny Quotes, Happiness Quotes

Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.

Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.

The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin.

The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin.

I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era...

I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era...

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone...

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone...

Some debts are fun when you are acquiring them, but none are fun when you...

Some debts are fun when you are acquiring them, but none are fun when you...

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence

Commitments the voters don't know about can't hurt you.

Commitments the voters don't know about can't hurt you.

Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave when they think that their children are...

Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave when they think that their children are...

Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs.

Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs.

They take the paper and they read the headlines, so they've heard of unemployment and...

They take the paper and they read the headlines, so they've heard of unemployment and...

Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind.

Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind.

Women would rather be right than reasonable.

Women would rather be right than reasonable.

If you don't want to work you have to work to earn enough money so...

If you don't want to work you have to work to earn enough money so...

Sleep is perverse as human nature, Sleep is perverse as a legislature, Sleep is as...

Sleep is perverse as human nature, Sleep is perverse as a legislature, Sleep is as...

A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick...

A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick...

People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they...

People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they...

Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet...

Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet...

I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers.

I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers.

I have an idea that the phrase 'weaker sex' was coined by some woman to...

I have an idea that the phrase 'weaker sex' was coined by some woman to...

I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless...

I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless...