There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all.

Quote by Ogden Nash

Topics: Funny Quotes, Happiness Quotes

Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny -...

Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny -...

Daybreak is one of the greatest disadvantages of living under the solar system: It means...

Daybreak is one of the greatest disadvantages of living under the solar system: It means...

Women would rather be right than reasonable.

Women would rather be right than reasonable.

Hark to the whimper of the seagull. / He weeps because he's not an ea-gull....

Hark to the whimper of the seagull. / He weeps because he's not an ea-gull....

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone...

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone...

Too clever is dumb.

Too clever is dumb.

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

The most exciting happiness is the happiness generated by forces beyond your control.

The most exciting happiness is the happiness generated by forces beyond your control.

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.

Some debts are fun when you are acquiring them, but none are fun when you...

Some debts are fun when you are acquiring them, but none are fun when you...

Middle age ends and senescence begins, The day your descendants outnumber your friends.

Middle age ends and senescence begins, The day your descendants outnumber your friends.

Love is a word that is constantly heard, Hate is a word that is not....

Love is a word that is constantly heard, Hate is a word that is not....

The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin.

The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin.

Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.

Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.

People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they...

People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they...

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the...

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the...

I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it.

I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it.

Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.

Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.

Commitments the voters don't know about can't hurt you.

Commitments the voters don't know about can't hurt you.

Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore, and that's what parents were created for.

Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore, and that's what parents were created for.