There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all.

Quote by Ogden Nash

Topics: Funny Quotes, Happiness Quotes

If you don't want to work you have to work to earn enough money so...

If you don't want to work you have to work to earn enough money so...

Nobody agrees with anybody else anyhow, but adults conceal it and infants show it

Nobody agrees with anybody else anyhow, but adults conceal it and infants show it

There are people who are very resourceful, at being remorseful, and who apparently feel that...

There are people who are very resourceful, at being remorseful, and who apparently feel that...

A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick...

A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick...

Do you think my mind is maturing late, or simply rotted early?

Do you think my mind is maturing late, or simply rotted early?

Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind.

Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind.

When I look at you every aged phrase is new, and there are moments when...

When I look at you every aged phrase is new, and there are moments when...

Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet...

Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet...

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone...

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone...

Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.

Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.

Love is a word that is constantly heard, Hate is a word that is not....

Love is a word that is constantly heard, Hate is a word that is not....

To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit...

To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit...

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence

Door: What a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.

Door: What a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.

Your hair may be brushed, but your mind's untidy. You've had about seven hours of...

Your hair may be brushed, but your mind's untidy. You've had about seven hours of...

They take the paper and they read the headlines, so they've heard of unemployment and...

They take the paper and they read the headlines, so they've heard of unemployment and...

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.

People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they...

People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they...

I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers.

I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers.