There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all.

Quote by Ogden Nash

Topics: Funny Quotes, Happiness Quotes

Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven...

Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven...

Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.

Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.

Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave when they think that their children are...

Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave when they think that their children are...

Children aren't happy without something to ignore, And that's what parents were created for.

Children aren't happy without something to ignore, And that's what parents were created for.

The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.

The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.

Too clever is dumb.

Too clever is dumb.

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an...

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an...

Door: What a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.

Door: What a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.

Commitments the voters don't know about can't hurt you.

Commitments the voters don't know about can't hurt you.

Sleep is perverse as human nature, Sleep is perverse as a legislature, Sleep is as...

Sleep is perverse as human nature, Sleep is perverse as a legislature, Sleep is as...

Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny -...

Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny -...

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

An occasional lucky guess as to what makes a wife tick is the best a...

An occasional lucky guess as to what makes a wife tick is the best a...

There are people who are very resourceful, at being remorseful, and who apparently feel that...

There are people who are very resourceful, at being remorseful, and who apparently feel that...

Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.

Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.

I have an idea that the phrase 'weaker sex' was coined by some woman to...

I have an idea that the phrase 'weaker sex' was coined by some woman to...

Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs.

Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs.

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we...

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we...