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Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.

Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.

Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind.

Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind.

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.

Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.

Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.

Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore, and that's what parents were created for.

Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore, and that's what parents were created for.

I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless...

I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless...

Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.

Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.

Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave when they think that their children are...

Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave when they think that their children are...

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.

People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they...

People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they...

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.

Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs.

Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs.

I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it.

I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it.

Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven...

Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven...

I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era...

I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era...

I have an idea that the phrase 'weaker sex' was coined by some woman to...

I have an idea that the phrase 'weaker sex' was coined by some woman to...

I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers.

I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers.

A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick...

A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick...