I'm so old they've canceled my blood type.

Quote by Bob Hope

Topics: Age Quotes, Funny Quotes

I like to play in the low 70's. If it gets any hotter than that...

I like to play in the low 70's. If it gets any hotter than that...

At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to...

At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to...

If I'm on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast. If God wants...

If I'm on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast. If God wants...

You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

I thought 'Deep Throat' was a movie about a giraffe.

I thought 'Deep Throat' was a movie about a giraffe.

Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.

Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.

I'll tell 'ya how to stay young: Hang around with older people

I'll tell 'ya how to stay young: Hang around with older people

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.

My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I...

My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I...

I do benefits for all religions - I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a...

I do benefits for all religions - I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a...

I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.

I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.

You've got to be rich to have a swing like that.

You've got to be rich to have a swing like that.

Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning.

Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning.

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you...

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you...

I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money.

I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money.

I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for...

I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for...

Your ignorance cramps my conversation

Your ignorance cramps my conversation

Most of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies

Most of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies

He who sacrifices his conscience to ambition burns a picture to obtain the ashes

He who sacrifices his conscience to ambition burns a picture to obtain the ashes

Ambition is the ecclesiastical lust.

Ambition is the ecclesiastical lust.

Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear...

Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear...