I have to much money invested in sweaters.
Quote by Bob Hope
Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.
Most of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies
I'm so old they've canceled my blood type.
She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that...
When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things -...
When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage - he shot...
You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
They'll always be an England, even if it's in Hollywood.
I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for...
I've always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.
Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning.
You never get tired unless you stop and take time for it.
If I'm on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast. If God wants...
My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I...
You've got to be rich to have a swing like that.
Your ignorance cramps my conversation
Isn't it fun to go out on the course and lie in the sun?
You're only here for a short visit. Don't hurry, don't worry. And be sure to...
Golf is an awkward set of bodily contortions designed to produce a graceful result