Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

Quote by Will Rogers

Topics: Funny Quotes, Laughter Quotes

I tell you, all politics is apple sauce.

I tell you, all politics is apple sauce.

There have been three great inventions since the beginning of time: fire, the wheel, and...

There have been three great inventions since the beginning of time: fire, the wheel, and...

If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny...

If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny...

Why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works...

Why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works...

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has....

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has....

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for...

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for...

The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.

The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.

If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do...

If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do...

Democrats are the only reason to vote for Republicans

Democrats are the only reason to vote for Republicans

Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth.

Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth.

Never let yesterday use up too much of today.

Never let yesterday use up too much of today.

My own mother died when I was 10 years old. My folks have told me...

My own mother died when I was 10 years old. My folks have told me...

It's a good thing we don't get all the government we pay for.

It's a good thing we don't get all the government we pay for.

Buy land. They ain't making any more of the stuff.

Buy land. They ain't making any more of the stuff.

If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny...

If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny...

The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn't still be a farmer.

The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn't still be a farmer.

This thing of being a hero, about the main thing to it is to know...

This thing of being a hero, about the main thing to it is to know...

Diplomacy is the art of saying Nice doggie until you can find a rock.

Diplomacy is the art of saying Nice doggie until you can find a rock.

You've got to go out on a limb sometimes because that's where the fruit is.

You've got to go out on a limb sometimes because that's where the fruit is.

When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out...

When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out...