This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.

Quote by George Burns

Topics: George Burns Quotes

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper...

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper...

I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.

I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.

I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased...

I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased...

By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember...

By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember...

Sex at age ninety is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

Sex at age ninety is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.

You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.

Be quick to learn and wise to know.

Be quick to learn and wise to know.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...

Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything...

Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything...

I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.

I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good...

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good...

The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you've got...

The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you've got...

I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a...

I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a...

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy...

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy...

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman -...

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman -...

Now and then it's good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be...

Now and then it's good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be...

For those who may not find happiness to exercise religious faith, it's okay to remain...

For those who may not find happiness to exercise religious faith, it's okay to remain...