The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.

Quote by George Burns

Topics: George Burns Quotes

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what...

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what...

Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything...

Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything...

Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember...

Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember...

How can I die? I'm booked.

How can I die? I'm booked.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...

I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I...

I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I...

If it's a good script I'll do it. And if it's a bad script, and...

If it's a good script I'll do it. And if it's a bad script, and...

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.

It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.

You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.

Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life.

Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life.

Be quick to learn and wise to know.

Be quick to learn and wise to know.

How beautifully leaves grow old. How full of light and color are their last days.

How beautifully leaves grow old. How full of light and color are their last days.

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.

I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of...

I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of...

I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.

I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.

Everyone knows that by far the happiest and universally enjoyable age of man is the...

Everyone knows that by far the happiest and universally enjoyable age of man is the...

Reason is a crutch for age, but youth is strong enough to walk alone.

Reason is a crutch for age, but youth is strong enough to walk alone.

Most people my age are dead at the present time and you can look it...

Most people my age are dead at the present time and you can look it...

You go to your TV to turn your brain off. You go to the computer...

You go to your TV to turn your brain off. You go to the computer...