The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.

Quote by George Burns

Topics: George Burns Quotes

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running...

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running...

Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember...

Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember...

Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life.

Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life.

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.

Its hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when...

Its hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when...

I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.

I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.

By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember...

By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember...

I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.

I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.

This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only...

This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only...

Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.

Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.

It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.

It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy...

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy...

How beautifully leaves grow old. How full of light and color are their last days.

How beautifully leaves grow old. How full of light and color are their last days.

I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a...

I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a...

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper...

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper...

If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die...

If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die...

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...

They speak of my drinking, but never think of my thirst.

They speak of my drinking, but never think of my thirst.

I never turned to drink. It seemed to turn to me.

I never turned to drink. It seemed to turn to me.

Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems.

Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems.

I dont like to be labeled as lonely just because I am alone.

I dont like to be labeled as lonely just because I am alone.