Sex at age ninety is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

Quote by George Burns

Topics: George Burns Quotes

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running...

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running...

Be quick to learn and wise to know.

Be quick to learn and wise to know.

I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I...

I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I...

If it's a good script I'll do it. And if it's a bad script, and...

If it's a good script I'll do it. And if it's a bad script, and...

You've got to be honest; if you can fake that, you've got it made.

You've got to be honest; if you can fake that, you've got it made.

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.

I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.

Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.

Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.

By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember...

By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember...

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what...

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what...

If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have...

If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have...

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than...

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than...

I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of...

I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of...

I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a...

I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a...

Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life.

Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life.

The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you've got...

The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you've got...

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good...

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good...

This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only...

This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only...