This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.

Quote by George Burns

Topics: George Burns Quotes

How can I die? I'm booked.

How can I die? I'm booked.

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I...

I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I...

You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.

You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.

By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember...

By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember...

If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die...

If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die...

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper...

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper...

Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything...

Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything...

I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.

I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.

When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my...

When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my...

If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have...

If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have...

It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.

It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.

Sex at age ninety is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

Sex at age ninety is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running...

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running...

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you've got...

The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you've got...

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy...

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy...

Democracy is being allowed to vote for the candidate you dislike least.

Democracy is being allowed to vote for the candidate you dislike least.

In middle age we are apt to reach the horrifying conclusion that all sorrow, all...

In middle age we are apt to reach the horrifying conclusion that all sorrow, all...

Age is the most terrible misfortune that can happen to any man; other evils will...

Age is the most terrible misfortune that can happen to any man; other evils will...

We take a risk when we open our hearts because the truth is, if we...

We take a risk when we open our hearts because the truth is, if we...