This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.

Quote by George Burns

Topics: George Burns Quotes

Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember...

Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember...

How beautifully leaves grow old. How full of light and color are their last days.

How beautifully leaves grow old. How full of light and color are their last days.

I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased...

I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased...

By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember...

By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember...

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy...

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy...

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper...

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper...

Be quick to learn and wise to know.

Be quick to learn and wise to know.

I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides,...

I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides,...

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than...

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than...

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...

Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life.

Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life.

I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I...

I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I...

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running...

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running...

Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything...

Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything...

You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.

You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good...

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good...

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what...

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what...

It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.

It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.