This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.

Quote by George Burns

Topics: George Burns Quotes

Its hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when...

Its hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when...

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die...

If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die...

How beautifully leaves grow old. How full of light and color are their last days.

How beautifully leaves grow old. How full of light and color are their last days.

I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.

I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.

How can I die? I'm booked.

How can I die? I'm booked.

You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.

You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.

Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life.

Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life.

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy...

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy...

Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.

Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.

Sex at age ninety is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

Sex at age ninety is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a...

I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a...

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running...

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running...

I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I...

I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I...

If it's a good script I'll do it. And if it's a bad script, and...

If it's a good script I'll do it. And if it's a bad script, and...

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides,...

I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides,...

Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember...

Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember...

Life is an opportunity afforded to each not to eat and drink, but to achieve...

Life is an opportunity afforded to each not to eat and drink, but to achieve...

And she said, Drink, my lord: and she hasted, and let down her pitcher upon...

And she said, Drink, my lord: and she hasted, and let down her pitcher upon...

It is a sad fact that 50 percent of marriages in this country end in...

It is a sad fact that 50 percent of marriages in this country end in...