First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

Quote by George Burns

Topics: George Burns Quotes

By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember...

By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember...

I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides,...

I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides,...

If it's a good script I'll do it. And if it's a bad script, and...

If it's a good script I'll do it. And if it's a bad script, and...

The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you've got...

The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you've got...

Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.

Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.

You've got to be honest; if you can fake that, you've got it made.

You've got to be honest; if you can fake that, you've got it made.

I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased...

I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased...

Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything...

Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything...

I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I...

I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I...

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...

How beautifully leaves grow old. How full of light and color are their last days.

How beautifully leaves grow old. How full of light and color are their last days.

If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die...

If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die...

This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only...

This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only...

If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have...

If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have...

Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember...

Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember...

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy...

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy...

I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.

I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.

They shall still bring forth fruit in old age; they shall be fat and flourishing;...

They shall still bring forth fruit in old age; they shall be fat and flourishing;...

In the city where the average age of Jews is 78, a Jewish boy has...

In the city where the average age of Jews is 78, a Jewish boy has...

What's the most popular pastime in America? Autoeroticism, hands down.

What's the most popular pastime in America? Autoeroticism, hands down.