I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke.

Quote by Spike Milligan

Topics: Spike Milligan Quotes

For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and...

For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and...

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't.

It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't.

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board...

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board...

It's all in the mind, you know.

It's all in the mind, you know.

I thought I'd begin by reading a sonnet by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why...

I thought I'd begin by reading a sonnet by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why...

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.

The Grand Old Duke of York He had ten thousand men. His case comes up...

The Grand Old Duke of York He had ten thousand men. His case comes up...

Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy.

Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy.

I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove...

I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove...

Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy

Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of...

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of...

Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.

Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.

I'm not afraid of dying I just don't want to be there when it happens.

I'm not afraid of dying I just don't want to be there when it happens.

I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why...

I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why...

Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy

Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy

A man is happy so long as he chooses to be happy and nothing can...

A man is happy so long as he chooses to be happy and nothing can...

No man is happy. He is, at best, fortunate.

No man is happy. He is, at best, fortunate.

The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make...

The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make...

For the loot, honey, for the loot.

For the loot, honey, for the loot.