I'm not afraid of dying I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Quote by Spike Milligan

Topics: Spike Milligan Quotes

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't.

It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't.

Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy

Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy

Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy.

Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy.

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy

Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of...

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of...

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy

Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

Money couldn't buy you friends, but you get a better class of enemy.

Money couldn't buy you friends, but you get a better class of enemy.

For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and...

For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and...

I thought I'd begin by reading a sonnet by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why...

I thought I'd begin by reading a sonnet by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why...

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.

I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board...

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board...

This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it's...

This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it's...

Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds...

Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds...

Silence is a friend who will never betray

Silence is a friend who will never betray