Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

Quote by Spike Milligan

Topics: Spike Milligan Quotes

Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy.

Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?

Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?

I'm a hero with coward's legs.

I'm a hero with coward's legs.

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board...

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board...

I thought I'd begin by reading a sonnet by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why...

I thought I'd begin by reading a sonnet by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why...

I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove...

I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove...

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of...

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of...

I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why...

I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why...

The Grand Old Duke of York He had ten thousand men. His case comes up...

The Grand Old Duke of York He had ten thousand men. His case comes up...

My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic.

My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic.

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

It's all in the mind, you know.

It's all in the mind, you know.

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of...

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of...

It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't.

It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't.

Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy

Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy

Going to college offered me the chance to play football for four more years.

Going to college offered me the chance to play football for four more years.

I will study and get ready, and perhaps my chance will come.

I will study and get ready, and perhaps my chance will come.

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping.

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping.