Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
Quote by Spike Milligan
Spike Milligan Quotes
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.
The Grand Old Duke of York He had ten thousand men. His case comes up...
Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
I can speak Esperanto like a native.
I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove...
I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy
All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it...
My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic.
And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board...
Money couldn't buy you friends, but you get a better class of enemy.
I thought I'd begin by reading a sonnet by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why...
Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy.
It's all in the mind, you know.
Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of...
My tremendous intuitive sense of the female creature informs me that you are troubled.
I think I don't regret a single 'excess' of my responsive youth-I only regret, in...
A hair on the head is worth two on the brush.
Being English, I always laugh at anything to do with the lavatory or bottoms.