Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.

Quote by Spike Milligan

Topics: Spike Milligan Quotes

Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy.

Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.

I'm a hero with coward's legs.

I'm a hero with coward's legs.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

I'm not afraid of dying I just don't want to be there when it happens.

I'm not afraid of dying I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy

Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board...

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board...

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy

Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy

This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it's...

This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it's...

The Grand Old Duke of York He had ten thousand men. His case comes up...

The Grand Old Duke of York He had ten thousand men. His case comes up...

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy

Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy

I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it...

I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it...

Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?

Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?

I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why...

I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why...

For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and...

For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and...