Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.

Quote by Spike Milligan

Topics: Spike Milligan Quotes

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

Money couldn't buy you friends, but you get a better class of enemy.

Money couldn't buy you friends, but you get a better class of enemy.

The Grand Old Duke of York He had ten thousand men. His case comes up...

The Grand Old Duke of York He had ten thousand men. His case comes up...

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it...

I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it...

Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy.

Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy.

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.

I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.

I'm a hero with coward's legs.

I'm a hero with coward's legs.

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of...

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of...

Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?

Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?

Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy

Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board...

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board...

By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may get to be a boss and...

By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may get to be a boss and...

You, you, and you... panic. The rest of you, come with me.

You, you, and you... panic. The rest of you, come with me.

The truth always comes back....either to shake your hand or to slap your face.

The truth always comes back....either to shake your hand or to slap your face.

Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such...

Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such...